sanctumsThird
consumer-oriented human being.
also plural, but you probably knew that already.
today is painful. today is tragic. today is beautiful. today is filled with love. x
business-y things:
other fun:
i have a bunch of these, so strap in, babygirl. (and feel free to browse my whole spotify.)
the four initialmost playlists displayed on my profile, acting as a summarization of my character. only the first is entirely of my own design.
athazagoraphobia: one of various names given to the fear of forgetting, as well as the fear of being forgotten.
i don't remember much of my life. i can track down key details, and string a story together, but so much has been lost to time and static. my life, obscured in a dissociative fog, will plague me anyway. so i should probably try keeping track of it.
playlist link here for now.
haha, get it? it's a play on words. because it's a collection of all the songs i've ever liked on spotify, but also like 'dissociative identity disorder' collective? because we're a system? funny joke?
please laugh.
playlist link here for now.
i've been on spotify since 2019. every year they give you 100 songs that you apparently really liked that year. so i just threw all of that together in one place. you're welcome, i guess?
playlist link here for now.
back when spotify was a wild, wild west, i had a playlist that literally anyone could add music to if they found my profile. unfortunately, i can't do that anymore. but in its honor, roulette is whatever... ahem, content... my friends decide to add.
if you know me well enough and want to be added to the list, let me know on discord and i can get you a share link.
playlist link here for now.
a collaborative effort between me and my friend, mish.
the names stem from the names of certain defensive equipment in the surreal adventure rpg OFF; this is intended to tie together two fundamental pieces of our respective existences. aers is aer grapheme-color synesthesia. mine is my strange, obsessive fixation on the negative elements of my life — this is where my name comes from.
also, we both have ptsd. but in this economy, who doesn't?
when anger reaches a peak, it can become volatile and directionless. anyone can get caught in the crossfire. this was what i hoped to encompass with this playlist: a blind rage that spares none.
playlist link here for now.
since my teen years, i have experienced chronic pain. at all times, i experience some sort of ache; primarily in my lower back, but it can radiate to my legs and my feet, my neck, upper back, and shoulders. it is a constant, to the point where i can usually ignore it.
for perhaps even longer, my life's story has been painted with suicidal ideology, to the point where it is almost normal. where it is not a concern, anymore. it's just part of my everyday.
playlist link here for now.
sorrow is a very vulnerable emotion. in contrast to the other colors in this palette, it is quiet and subdued. too, it remains the outlier — where hope is as close as the nearest star... but at least there's a light at all.
playlist link here for now.
when you are wronged, it's not especially easy to forgive. you might stew in those feelings for a while before they make an outward appearance.
playlist link here for now.
when you are wronged, it is so, so difficult to keep your mouth shut.
playlist link here for now.
i have always held myself to an especially high standard — i am not permitted to have vices, i cannot stoop so low. i cannot give in like my father before me. i must be pure, i must be perfect. i cannot give in. i cannot admit defeat.
playlist link here for now.
at some point, you stop seeking comfort. in fact, you might even begin to avoid it — it is conditional, after all. all good things are temporary; all good things can be taken away. and they will be. it's only a matter of time.
eventually, you come to terms with the fact that you are meant to be alone.
playlist link here for now.
it took a while to figure out the direction we wanted to go in for this one. i knew it had to be instrumental, and eventually, we settled on a sort of dissociative vibe. truly, the only way to make it through the game.
playlist link here for now.
with a name like saturn, how could i not have a collection of playlists based on expressions tied to our closest celestial bodies?
i wanted to make sure each playlist was notably different. some of the playlists are based entirely on the respective expression, while others are tied to more personal associations. all in all, though, the genres encompassed by this group have all been integral to my life's journey.
i haven't talked about em enough, so let's bring up mish again.
some of eir favorite music is electronic. and ey's associated emself with the planet mercury in the past, so it only makes sense to tie the two together. but something that is mercurial can be capricious and unpredictable, which also encompasses a good chunk of the very broad electronic genre. so at the end of the day, it just makes sense, don't you think?
i think the most poetic part is that the playlist's color is a shade of pink, which is the color ey associates with me.
playlist link here for now.
don't you love catholic guilt?
this playlist was arguably the most difficult for me to piece together. in part because i wanted to get the sound just right, but also because there aren't nearly enough people who will deify the very concept of intimacy. and it's a downright shame! i vote for more mentally ill people to write music about frick-fracking nastystyle in a church.
playlist link here for now.
this is normal music, i am a normal person. come closer.
anyway yeah, this one is basically just generic radio hits that i know from growing up. a good half of these i totally forgot even existed before now, so that's fun.
playlist link here for now.
an evolution of my angry music.
i don't know shit about genres, so i can't really narrow down what this consists of. metal, rock? punk? whatever mcr is? fucking seether. but i needed more music for hating the world to. yknow, for when you're in one of those kinds of moods.
playlist link here for now.
my mom always tells me that, back when she was growing up, things were so much more carefree than they are now. a world where people were just... kids growing up, making mistakes, learning from them. a world where there wasn't so much... gravity to our every action.
i'm pretty sure it wasn't all rainbows and butterflies, but these songs definitely give the illusion that things were okay, once, long ago.
playlist link here for now.
finally: my namesake.
this is really good music to listen to if you want to feel worse.
playlist link here for now.
quoth the raven: "do you ever zoom out and you're just hands?"
i dissociate while listening to these playlists for various reasons. some are inherently abstract, while some are more... absent. either way, these are all fun for their own reasons.
i couldn't actually give this one a summary if i tried. it makes me left-eyed, though.
playlist link here for now.
i watched a lot of vsauce before i became depressed.
not all of this is actually stuff from vsauce, of course, but to me it fits the general vibe. i don't know. one time i ate an entire mixing bowl of potato salad (celery substituted with cucumber) at 2am to this playlist. it had more texture than taste.
playlist link here for now.
06-29-2018.
playlist link here for now.
this one is actually a character playlist, believe it or not.
something or other about a skeletal entity. he has a name that starts with c, regardless of who you ask. and he's intrinsically tied to a figure in green.
playlist link here for now.
[REDACTED]
playlist link here for now.
curated by peggi <3.
various collections of songs in our vocal range that we know by heart! feel free to sing along!
for warmups. eventually.
playlist link here for now.
slow, lullaby-like stuff. eventually.
playlist link here for now.
for sad, edgy songs. eventually.
playlist link here for now.
for upbeat stuff. eventually.
playlist link here for now.
for the kind of sassy stuff. eventually.
playlist link here for now.
for silly songs excluding larry. eventually.
playlist link here for now.
for religious songs. eventually.
playlist link here for now.
for music of a nocturnal mood, whatever that means. eventually.
playlist link here for now.